We’ve been hearing the tortured pleas of Bali Nine death row inmate Myuruan Sukumaran, but what about his mother? How is she holding up with all this, knowing that her son is sentenced to die by Indonesian firing squad.
In a wrenching interview published by news.com.AU, the Sydney mother Raji Sukumaran comes off clearly hurt, haunted, and helpless, to name a few emotional. But if she could see her son now, all she would and could do is give him a long hug and tell him how much she loves him.
After her son’s clemency plea was formally rejected with a letter from President Joko Widodo, she’s been quoted as saying she wish they would kill her first over taking her oldest child.
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“I just want him to be alive somewhere so that I know he is okay. I don’t want to live like this. I wish they would kill me first, he doesn’t deserve to die. He did something really foolish 10 years ago and he apologized … he is trying to rehabilitate a lot of people there and he is really really sorry for what he has done,” Raji Sukamaran said.
Her son’s story of rehabilitation and attempts at redemption through his major role in Kerobokan Prison’s art program has been a memorable one. He has been involved in setting up and running rehabilitation programs for other prisoners that cover computer, English, graphic design, art classes, and even an art gallery.
Among her biggest fears is that she will not even be able to say goodbye and hug him one last time.
“It terrifies me … when is he going to be isolated, will I get to see him, will I get to hug him,” she told New Corporation.
Her emotions are understandably so raw: “I am angry, I am terrified, I don’t know what to do, I feel helpless. I am really scared, really scared.”
“He is rehabilitated and still they want to take him and kill him and it’s not fair,” Raji Sukumaran said.
But if she had one wish in this life, she would plead her son’s case with Jokowi himself and tell him of all the rehabilitation work he has initiated in Kerobokan Prison.
“I am sure if the President knows what Myu has done inside, I am sure he will grant him clemency. I know that he would not take my son’s life away,” Raji Sukumaran said.
What’s perhaps most heartbreaking is now Raji Sukumaran feels she fails as a mother, a sentiment she expressed in 2012 as a part of her son’s plea for clemency before previous Indonesian President, Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono. She reportedly updated that letter just last year to include the rehabilitation work her son has done since.
Photo by AFP
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